At a bar in New York, the man sat next to Ah Beng told the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
and his companion said, "JACK DANIELS,SINGLE."
The bartender turned to Ah Beng and asked, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Ah Beng replied: "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems.
After a few attempts, he decided to use the 'Help' command.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer shop for support.
Ah Beng : "I pressed the 'F1' key for help... but it's been over half an hour & still nobody has come to help me...."
In the class.
Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of parents?"
Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother."
Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"
Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents means cowboy's father and mother. Also can say Cowboy's father is Cow Pay and Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo.
So if they walk together, we can say they are 'Cow Pay Cow Boo'."
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and
he answered," I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor- but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So Kena lor!""Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to the other ear?"
Ah Beng: "That stupid fellow called back again loh!"
Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every
morning!" Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!
A black guy and a white girl met at a nite club. She took him to
her apartment and said: "tie me to the bed and do what black men do best!" so he ran off with the TV and VCD...
Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing..... When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied:"MASTURBATING."(master bathing)
Ah Beng was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6, 7,8,9 and 10 . Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again back to 1.
This was what he came up with...
1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run so fast until I felt 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 . He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1 .
Once upon a time, there lived an ant and a grasshopper. The grasshopper does nothing else but jump around and play. On the other hand, the ant is so hardworking, looking for food all day long and store them in it's nest.
Looking at his hardworking friend working so hard, the grasshopper ask, "Hey, Ant! U dun have to relax ah? Always busy one. Come and play with me lah. "
To which the ant replied, "I can't lah i have to store all these food."
"Haiyah! Relax lah. Why u bother storing all these food? When u hungry den go find lah." the grasshopper told the ant again.
"Eh,cannot lah. I have to standby for the coming winter season. Then I no need to panick mah. I think u oso must standby u know." the ant telling his friend.
"Where got time. I go play better. U wan store food u go ahead lah. I continue playing ok. bye!" And hop goes the grasshopper.
Some time later the two friends meet again. "Hey Ant! U still haven't finished storing food ah? Last time all the food all go where? So fast finish ah?" asked grasshopper.
"I got keep but all overdue liao. So cannot eat anymore. All because winter not here yet. Now i have to go and look for new food." sighed the ant.
"But ant ah. U dun mind i ask ah. Did u ever have a thought that Singapore where got winter?" ask the grasshopper again.
"AHHHH????!!!!!"
BRANDON KHOO HERE
